They atrophy faster than you think
Hi. It’s me. I know, I know. It’s been a while.
For the past couple of years, I had the incredible opportunity to work for a fast-growing audiovisual and production company. And I mean fast-growing in the way that leaves you constantly sprinting to keep up. It was exciting, demanding and all-consuming, and it didn’t leave a lot of room for things like writing articles. Or, if I’m being honest, for much of anything outside of the normal parameters of the job, such as going to industry conferences and being a part of the community.
Now I find myself in a new role, and with that comes the slightly humbling experience of realizing that certain muscles have atrophied. Specifically, networking. So when I found myself at Minnesota Meetings & Events Day earlier this year, I was genuinely grateful to stumble into Nicole Coon’s session, “Five-Star Connections: Networking in Action.” It felt less like a scheduled education session and more like physical therapy for the socially rusty.
Give People Something to Talk About
Nicole’s approach was deceptively simple. We rotated from table to table with specific prompts. Likes, dislikes, pain points in the events industry—and just talked. No elaborate icebreakers, no trust falls, no one asking you to share a “fun fact” about yourself while you frantically try to think of something others might consider “fun”.
Just structured conversation starters and a room full of people who do what you do.
Read More: Work Smart: The Art of Communication
Of course, what inevitably happened was that the conversation took over. Somewhere around the third or fourth table shuffle, more than a couple of groups quietly stopped following the instructions. We just kept talking, moving through new prompts, completely ignoring the rotation. I don’t think Nicole minded. The point had already been made: give people a reason to talk and they will. The hard part isn’t the conversation. It’s the opening.
It was a good reminder that great networking design doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to remove the friction.
Shaking Off the Rust in a Conga Line
A few weeks later, I had the chance to attend the Smart Meetings Innovation Experience in Boise, Idaho. If Minnesota was sports rehab therapy, Boise was the first real game back on the court.
Getting to see familiar faces like Dalia El Gazar and Nick Borelli reminded me pretty quickly of something I’d half-forgotten: the fundamental rule of networking is don’t take yourself too seriously. These are people who are genuinely fun to be around, and being in their orbit has a way of loosening you up whether you’re ready for it or not.
Before I knew what was happening, I was part of a full-on conga line weaving its way through the event space. And later that evening, I was dancing in the streets of Boise with Basque traditional dancers.
Is there footage? Almost certainly. Is it embarrassing? Probably. That’s kind of the point.
Putting yourself out there, being willing to look a little ridiculous, is exactly what creates connection. You can’t build relationships from a distance. At some point, you have to get in the conga line.
I also attended a genuinely excellent session by Henry Coutinho-Mason on AI and events, which ended with a group brainstorm on how to get attendees to actually network at events. It wasn’t lost on me that here I was, actively trying to reconnect with my own networking instincts, sitting in a room full of people wrestling with how to make it happen for others. The irony was not subtle, and the conversation was great.
The People Who Stayed on Their Phones
There was something that bothered me, though.
At the conga line, and I say this with (almost) zero judgment and genuine curiosity, there were three or four people who didn’t participate in the conga line. Not just hesitant, not just hanging back at the edges. Phones out, heads down, visibly occupied with something else. Opting out entirely.
Read More: It’s All About Engagement!
And I found myself wondering: Did they get what they came for? Did they leave Boise with new contacts, new ideas, new energy? Maybe they did. I genuinely don’t know their situations. But I’d be willing to bet that the people who joined the conga line, who danced in the street, who stayed too long at a table with Nicole Coon’s prompts, those people left with something more than a business card.
Networking isn’t a passive activity. You don’t absorb it by proximity. It requires a little effort, a little willingness to be uncomfortable, and honestly, a little willingness to be seen.
The Reluctant Networker’s Pep Talk
From there, the shows got even bigger, with a full crew going and taking appointments at IMEX Frankfurt. I was supposed to spend my time networking and watching education sessions, but instead got pressed into booth service as we wound up with much higher interest than we anticipated. Instead of my six scheduled appointments, I took 22. But by that point, I felt back up to strength, ready to play, and it was a joy to get to see even more of my friends and make scores of new connections.
If you’re reading this and you’re in the same boat I was (a little rusty, a little out of practice, maybe dreading the next conference cocktail hour), here’s what I’d tell you: go anyway.
Stay at the table when the conversation gets good, even if you’re feeling the pull to “move on.” Quality triumphs over quantity. Let someone else’s infectious energy pull you out of your own head for a minute. The connections you make when you’re slightly outside your comfort zone tend to be the ones that actually stick, and people remember those that are willing to put themselves out there.
I’m not saying you have to become a social butterfly overnight. But put the phone away, and you can answer that email later. The conga line only comes around once.
And at the next Smart Meetings experience in D.C., I led it.
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Brandt Krueger is the director of industry relations and partnerships at EventMobi and is consistently named one of the Most Influential Event Technology Professionals globally.
As an author, educator and podcast host, he has helped thousands of event professionals improve their attendee experiences, and speaks regularly at major industry conferences worldwide. With over 25 years in the industry, he is passionate about helping event professionals leverage technology to create meaningful experiences. Learn more about EventMobi’s capabilities here.
