The Last Word: Kindness is Your Secret Weapon

Six tips for approaching contract conversations with confidence

If the word “negotiation” makes you cringe, you’re not alone. Many professionals—especially women—associate negotiating with conflict, power struggles—or worse—personal failures. But according to Mori Taheripour, negotiation expert, author and faculty member at The Wharton School who spoke at IAEE’s Women’s Leadership Forum, that perception is not only flawed—it’s holding you back.

“People often think of negotiations as combative or transactional,” says Taheripour. “They imagine a zero-sum game: If one person wins, the other must lose. That fear stops people from even trying.”

For meeting professionals, who negotiate everything from AV contracts to F&B minimums, embracing negotiation as a conversation rather than a conflict is key. Here’s how Taheripour reframes the process—and how you can use it to protect your budget, elevate your role and create more successful events.

The Misunderstood Art of Negotiation

The biggest mistake? Not negotiating at all. “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. You leave so much on the table,” says Taheripour. “And more importantly, you silence your own voice.” Rather than viewing negotiation as an occasional battle, Taheripour encourages professionals to recognize it as something they already do daily.

Read More: The Art of Negotiation in Unpredictable Times

“If you’ve ever gotten a kid to bed on time, talked your way out of a traffic ticket or convinced a pet to come inside when it’s freezing, you’re negotiating,” she laughs. “It’s not about dominance. It’s about communication.” Meeting professionals, she notes, are negotiating constantly—with vendors, clients, internal stakeholders, even attendees. The trick is to recognize those conversations for what they are, and to approach them with purpose and confidence.

Top Negotiating Tips

1.

Detach from fear of conflict. Most negotiations are not about confrontation; they’re about understanding both parties’ goals. “You’re not fighting. You’re problem-solving,” says Taheripour.

2.

Do your homework. Know the market rate for services, the value of your group and your venue’s need dates. Knowledge is your leverage.

3.

Speak up early. Bring up your needs at the proposal stage, not after the contract is signed. “Negotiation doesn’t start with the contract—it starts with the first conversation.”

4.

Ask better questions. Instead of demanding, “Can you lower the rate?” ask, “What flexibility do you have on pricing if we can guarantee X?”

5.

Know what matters most. Not every line item is worth fighting over. Prioritize your nonnegotiables and know where you can compromise.

6.

Practice. Like any skill, negotiating improves with repetition. “Every time you advocate for yourself, you get stronger,” says Taheripour.

Revert to Your Core Competency

If you still feel anxious about your next negotiation, remember this: You’re probably already better at it than you realize. You were born negotiating. Kids are masters of getting what they want because they don’t know not to ask and they are naturally curious. It’s time to recapture that fearlessness and tenacity.

You can be bold and nice at the same time. The cliches of combative negotiators on television are not the model that works in the real world. “The way we treat people matters,” said Taheripour.

“Kindness is a strength.”